As my baby boy starts to become more and more mobile and independent, I realize that its harder to keep up with things. You may ask "What things?". And I will respond heartily: "EVERYTHING!!!" My housework, laundry, etc. Yardwork, phone calls, emails. Exercise, eating healthy, and my blog. Yup-especially forget about keeping up with the Kardashians, or even just the three television shows I like to watch that are longer than 30 minutes.
Yet, I realize that these things are all important to me, and I need to keep up with them. How can I make sure I am able to accomplish what I need to during the day, yet provide a loving and safe environment that fosters the growth and creativity of my wonderful child?
If you know the answer, please tell me! And the answer can't include cloning myself, or hiring people to do the work for me!
Showing posts with label needs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label needs. Show all posts
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
How do you communicate?
I think that communication is the root of most stress in relationships, and not just relationships between parters, but also friends and colleagues.
When you communicate, you have two choices-either to be open or to be closed to what the other person is saying. We have many triggers that cause us to be closed, defensive, and sensitive to what others say. It could be the subject, body language, tone, or even our own emotional state at the time. Honestly, it is often easier to be closed to what others are saying. In order to be open, you need to be conscious of YOUR body language, tone, and emotional state, AS WELL AS that of the other person. It takes more effort for open communication to take place.
Another choice you have is to confront your feelings or to leave them inside, unsaid. Sometimes, it is just better to not say anything, especially when the effects on that relationship are going to be inconsequential. Or, if the relationship won't suffer from leaving things unsaid. Or if what you want to say is hurtful, mean, demeaning, or rude.
It is hard to confront your feelings, and thoughts, but I have found that most of the time, it is better to express them. Once you become more open in your communication with others, your relationships will improve.
I have made an effort in the last week to be more open in my communication. I can see a difference already. I let a friend know my feelings were hurt by something, and I think it made a big difference in how I felt. I value the friendship, and didn't want to feel resentful and let hurt feelings stew. I also have been more open in my communication with my husband, and have tried to take a step back where I would normally have been upset or gotten snippy and have made an effort to verbally express how I was feeling.
If you value a relationship, you owe it to the other party to be open and honest in your communication. Its hard, but its totally worth it!
When you communicate, you have two choices-either to be open or to be closed to what the other person is saying. We have many triggers that cause us to be closed, defensive, and sensitive to what others say. It could be the subject, body language, tone, or even our own emotional state at the time. Honestly, it is often easier to be closed to what others are saying. In order to be open, you need to be conscious of YOUR body language, tone, and emotional state, AS WELL AS that of the other person. It takes more effort for open communication to take place.
Another choice you have is to confront your feelings or to leave them inside, unsaid. Sometimes, it is just better to not say anything, especially when the effects on that relationship are going to be inconsequential. Or, if the relationship won't suffer from leaving things unsaid. Or if what you want to say is hurtful, mean, demeaning, or rude.
It is hard to confront your feelings, and thoughts, but I have found that most of the time, it is better to express them. Once you become more open in your communication with others, your relationships will improve.
I have made an effort in the last week to be more open in my communication. I can see a difference already. I let a friend know my feelings were hurt by something, and I think it made a big difference in how I felt. I value the friendship, and didn't want to feel resentful and let hurt feelings stew. I also have been more open in my communication with my husband, and have tried to take a step back where I would normally have been upset or gotten snippy and have made an effort to verbally express how I was feeling.
If you value a relationship, you owe it to the other party to be open and honest in your communication. Its hard, but its totally worth it!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
What really matters in life?
I would like to say that money doesn't matter in life, but honestly it does. Its a means to an end-the type of life you want for yourself and your family. If you don't have enough money to pay for your home, car payment, insurance, food, etc, your life (and your family's life) is going to be very chaotic. Worrying about how to make these payments causes stress on the earners and providers in the family, and the children will pick up on that for sure.
We have set a goal to save money. I have made a conscious effort over the last two weeks not to spend money on any extra things. Its been great! I did purchase a new pair of sweatpants to wear to my Zumba class on Tuesdays, but beyond household stuff (groceries, etc) and a couple bottles of wine at the Stems and Steins event, we have been very diligent. Its fun to spend money, but sometimes its more fun not to.
Last night I told my husband that I wanted to go hit some golf balls after dinner. He rushed home, ate his dinner and we got ready to go. He had tokens for the range left over from earlier this summer. I bundled up the baby in a blanket at the range, and we got a couple buckets of balls. No one else was there, the moon was shining as it was dusk, and we had a great time as a family just hitting balls. On the way home we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts and got coffee using a gift card my husband got for his birthday. A successful night-family fun and no money spent!!
I guess what really matters in life is how you spend-your time, your money, and your love. If you spend all your time fretting and fussing and complaining and generally being negative, pretty soon you're gonna be a crotchety old man or woman who is lonely and simply bitches all the time to their bazillion cats. If you spend all your money, you may have fun doing so in the moment, but you're going to be stressed later on for sure! If you spend all your love, hopefully you'll get it in return, but even if you don't, you will have made someone else's day brighter. My challenge to any of you who read this is to think about how you spend, and see if there is something you can do to positively impact another person's life today. If you do this, post a comment on it, I would love to hear about it!
We have set a goal to save money. I have made a conscious effort over the last two weeks not to spend money on any extra things. Its been great! I did purchase a new pair of sweatpants to wear to my Zumba class on Tuesdays, but beyond household stuff (groceries, etc) and a couple bottles of wine at the Stems and Steins event, we have been very diligent. Its fun to spend money, but sometimes its more fun not to.
Last night I told my husband that I wanted to go hit some golf balls after dinner. He rushed home, ate his dinner and we got ready to go. He had tokens for the range left over from earlier this summer. I bundled up the baby in a blanket at the range, and we got a couple buckets of balls. No one else was there, the moon was shining as it was dusk, and we had a great time as a family just hitting balls. On the way home we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts and got coffee using a gift card my husband got for his birthday. A successful night-family fun and no money spent!!
I guess what really matters in life is how you spend-your time, your money, and your love. If you spend all your time fretting and fussing and complaining and generally being negative, pretty soon you're gonna be a crotchety old man or woman who is lonely and simply bitches all the time to their bazillion cats. If you spend all your money, you may have fun doing so in the moment, but you're going to be stressed later on for sure! If you spend all your love, hopefully you'll get it in return, but even if you don't, you will have made someone else's day brighter. My challenge to any of you who read this is to think about how you spend, and see if there is something you can do to positively impact another person's life today. If you do this, post a comment on it, I would love to hear about it!
Plans...
I tend to do better with things when I plan them out. I have always been that way. I need to think things through, or at least come up with an idea of what to do and how to go about it. BUT...life with a baby has a way of making it hard to stick to the plans you have made!
Today I plan on the usual-straightening up the kitchen, going through paperwork and cleaning off the buffet, showering, playing with baby, doing some laundry, putting it away--normal stuff. I also am meeting two or three other moms out at an indoor playground so the kiddos can crawl around and play (the mosquitoes are too bad at the parks we normally go to). I am going to get another walk in, perhaps with the baby in the Ergo carrier and the dog on his leash, I need to deep clean our upstairs bathroom, and go to the bookstore. We'll see how those go!!! Oh, and of course, my Zumba class tonight!!!
Being a mom has taught me that flexibility is something that is required in my life. You can plan to get stuff done, but the needs of the adorable little person who depends on you take priority over your plans. Heck, its not necessarily even the needs...its the WANTS of that little person! Haha!
I will be happy if ultimately I can shower, get my walk in, clean the bathroom, get the kitchen to a point where its tolerable (meaning dishes done and counter cleaned, maybe floor mopped), go on the playdate, and fold the laundry. Everything else can wait!
Today I plan on the usual-straightening up the kitchen, going through paperwork and cleaning off the buffet, showering, playing with baby, doing some laundry, putting it away--normal stuff. I also am meeting two or three other moms out at an indoor playground so the kiddos can crawl around and play (the mosquitoes are too bad at the parks we normally go to). I am going to get another walk in, perhaps with the baby in the Ergo carrier and the dog on his leash, I need to deep clean our upstairs bathroom, and go to the bookstore. We'll see how those go!!! Oh, and of course, my Zumba class tonight!!!
Being a mom has taught me that flexibility is something that is required in my life. You can plan to get stuff done, but the needs of the adorable little person who depends on you take priority over your plans. Heck, its not necessarily even the needs...its the WANTS of that little person! Haha!
I will be happy if ultimately I can shower, get my walk in, clean the bathroom, get the kitchen to a point where its tolerable (meaning dishes done and counter cleaned, maybe floor mopped), go on the playdate, and fold the laundry. Everything else can wait!
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