I have finally decided to work on organizing my photos. I started this project a LONG time ago, but got sidetracked by life, as happens with many (most?) of my projects.
My first step is to transfer all my photos from my laptop to my portable hard drive. My second step will be to go through the folders and delete those pictures that are not very good. After that, I will print out lots and lots of pictures, because what good to they do sitting on my little hard drive? I want to be able to look through albums with friends and family and giggle about the silly things we were wearing, and the antics we pulled.
I got inspired to do this last year, a couple of times, and then again this year. The first time I got inspired was when we visited our friends Gina and John at their home on Long Island. She pulled out photo albums from when we were in college, and it was fun to reminisce. She was always SO good at keeping photo albums!
The second time I got inspired to do this was after my father in law passed away. All 8 Stacy kids made it for the funeral, and the family and extended family had a good time looking through the pictures. It was nice to see Dad and the family during happier times. There were holiday celebrations, birthday parties, baptisms, weddings, and just random pictures.
I got inspired a third time when my brother in law was visiting in September. He pulled out the photo albums and showed pictures of his childhood to his girlfriend, it was her first visit with the family, and there were many people whom she was not going to get the chance to meet.
Since then I have started printing out photographs (just 4x6's) and putting them in an album. I hope to fill that one up and get another one filled. I have lots of empty albums lying around, I hope to fill them all up with memories so that one day, my boy and his girlfriend (or wife) can look at them and smile.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
loss-remembering and learning and knowing and growing
I have thought alot about writing this post in the past week. I don't know exactly what I want to write, but I know I need to write something.
Two years ago in early October, I was blissfully pregnant. Or so I thought. Things were really stressful at work, and I started spotting one day. I thought it was just stress or something, and when it kept up, I called the doctor. The next day they had me go in for an ultrasound. I should have known things were not good when the tech was very quiet. She didn't really say anything and didn't point anything out to us on the screen. What we saw was just a blob. A blob that was smaller than it should have been. A blob that should have had a heartbeat and should have been wiggling. A blob that was supposed to be our baby. The doctor called later that day and informed me of the sad news. I was crushed. I somehow made it home (because I was on my way into work at the time), and shortly after that, my husband got home. I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. He actually cried too. That was the first time I had seen him cry. He tried to play it off like it was my tears dripping onto his face. I guess what happened is at 9 weeks and 6 days, something happened that caused our baby to stop living. My body didn't start doing anything about it for another 3 weeks.
My husband was my rock through this experience. I learned alot about myself in the months that followed. I learned that I could be genuinely happy for a very good girlfriend when she told me she was expecting, yet incredibly sad for myself, and I could be a support to her when the worst happened with her pregnancy a few weeks later. I learned the strength of friendship can reach across the miles. I learned that I needed to become more tolerant of others and more patient. There were alot of lessons I learned that were related to my work life-most of all I had to think of one person in particular as a child of some one, and learn to appreciate him as a person, not look at him as someone who had horrible behaviors because he wanted to make people's lives miserable. I learned the highs and lows of my spirit. I found strength I never knew I had. I felt pain like I never thought I could feel.
I have also learned that things happen, and you have to buck up, and move on. Yes, be sad, mourn, grieve, and do what you need to do, but don't let it consume you. Find beauty and happiness in every day. Because there IS beauty and happiness every day-some days it may just be harder to see than others.
I still think of the little angel we have in heaven. I don't know if that baby was a boy or a girl, but I like to think of the baby as a girl. I know she's in heaven looking down on us-maybe now she's even growing up with her grandpa by her side. I know that if she had been born, my beautiful baby boy would not be here-and I wouldn't trade him for all the tea in China or all the stars in the sky.
October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day. Please visit the site here. If you're so inclined, please light a candle in memory of all the angels who were taken from their mommy and daddies arms too soon. I hope that no other woman I know ever has to go through the pain of pregnancy loss, but I know that's not realistic. The statistics are 1 in 3 pregnancies. Well, I must know alot of the 1's. I also know that if something happens during a pregnancy of someone that I love, that I will be there for whatever they need. Even if its just a smile or a hug.
Two years ago in early October, I was blissfully pregnant. Or so I thought. Things were really stressful at work, and I started spotting one day. I thought it was just stress or something, and when it kept up, I called the doctor. The next day they had me go in for an ultrasound. I should have known things were not good when the tech was very quiet. She didn't really say anything and didn't point anything out to us on the screen. What we saw was just a blob. A blob that was smaller than it should have been. A blob that should have had a heartbeat and should have been wiggling. A blob that was supposed to be our baby. The doctor called later that day and informed me of the sad news. I was crushed. I somehow made it home (because I was on my way into work at the time), and shortly after that, my husband got home. I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. He actually cried too. That was the first time I had seen him cry. He tried to play it off like it was my tears dripping onto his face. I guess what happened is at 9 weeks and 6 days, something happened that caused our baby to stop living. My body didn't start doing anything about it for another 3 weeks.
My husband was my rock through this experience. I learned alot about myself in the months that followed. I learned that I could be genuinely happy for a very good girlfriend when she told me she was expecting, yet incredibly sad for myself, and I could be a support to her when the worst happened with her pregnancy a few weeks later. I learned the strength of friendship can reach across the miles. I learned that I needed to become more tolerant of others and more patient. There were alot of lessons I learned that were related to my work life-most of all I had to think of one person in particular as a child of some one, and learn to appreciate him as a person, not look at him as someone who had horrible behaviors because he wanted to make people's lives miserable. I learned the highs and lows of my spirit. I found strength I never knew I had. I felt pain like I never thought I could feel.
I have also learned that things happen, and you have to buck up, and move on. Yes, be sad, mourn, grieve, and do what you need to do, but don't let it consume you. Find beauty and happiness in every day. Because there IS beauty and happiness every day-some days it may just be harder to see than others.
I still think of the little angel we have in heaven. I don't know if that baby was a boy or a girl, but I like to think of the baby as a girl. I know she's in heaven looking down on us-maybe now she's even growing up with her grandpa by her side. I know that if she had been born, my beautiful baby boy would not be here-and I wouldn't trade him for all the tea in China or all the stars in the sky.
October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day. Please visit the site here. If you're so inclined, please light a candle in memory of all the angels who were taken from their mommy and daddies arms too soon. I hope that no other woman I know ever has to go through the pain of pregnancy loss, but I know that's not realistic. The statistics are 1 in 3 pregnancies. Well, I must know alot of the 1's. I also know that if something happens during a pregnancy of someone that I love, that I will be there for whatever they need. Even if its just a smile or a hug.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Lists, lists, lists...
Ahh, many of you who know me will giggle about this, but I am a true Capricorn-I like being in control, and having lists. Yes, Lists. They keep me organized, and help me make sure that I don't forget anything, though I usually forget to put something on the list...
Anyhow, I have realized that in order to keep track of what I need to accomplish in a day, I really need to create a couple of lists. One is a recurring list-like a checklist of tasks that happen daily, or should happen daily. This list would include sweeping/vacuuming or using the swiffer on my floors, getting the kitchen and table and counters cleared off, picking up laundry, making the bed, etc.
On another list I would place tasks that aren't every day things, like calling whatever company has screwed up my auto drafting THIS time to get it fixed (shouldn't things like that really make life easier??), calling our insurance company to get something taken care of, picking up stuff from the cleaner, getting oil changes for our cars, etc.
However, as I make my lists, I realize that there are some things that we do automatically every day-for example, I call my parents (almost) daily. I also tell my husband that I love him at least once a day, and kiss my baby boy many many times a day. But there are also some things that I don't do every day, but perhaps should. Things like counting the many blessings in my life, taking the time to think about what's important in life, and thanking my husband for being such a good provider. Maybe I should put these things on my recurring daily list.
What isn't on your list that should be?
Anyhow, I have realized that in order to keep track of what I need to accomplish in a day, I really need to create a couple of lists. One is a recurring list-like a checklist of tasks that happen daily, or should happen daily. This list would include sweeping/vacuuming or using the swiffer on my floors, getting the kitchen and table and counters cleared off, picking up laundry, making the bed, etc.
On another list I would place tasks that aren't every day things, like calling whatever company has screwed up my auto drafting THIS time to get it fixed (shouldn't things like that really make life easier??), calling our insurance company to get something taken care of, picking up stuff from the cleaner, getting oil changes for our cars, etc.
However, as I make my lists, I realize that there are some things that we do automatically every day-for example, I call my parents (almost) daily. I also tell my husband that I love him at least once a day, and kiss my baby boy many many times a day. But there are also some things that I don't do every day, but perhaps should. Things like counting the many blessings in my life, taking the time to think about what's important in life, and thanking my husband for being such a good provider. Maybe I should put these things on my recurring daily list.
What isn't on your list that should be?
Saturday, September 25, 2010
How do you communicate?
I think that communication is the root of most stress in relationships, and not just relationships between parters, but also friends and colleagues.
When you communicate, you have two choices-either to be open or to be closed to what the other person is saying. We have many triggers that cause us to be closed, defensive, and sensitive to what others say. It could be the subject, body language, tone, or even our own emotional state at the time. Honestly, it is often easier to be closed to what others are saying. In order to be open, you need to be conscious of YOUR body language, tone, and emotional state, AS WELL AS that of the other person. It takes more effort for open communication to take place.
Another choice you have is to confront your feelings or to leave them inside, unsaid. Sometimes, it is just better to not say anything, especially when the effects on that relationship are going to be inconsequential. Or, if the relationship won't suffer from leaving things unsaid. Or if what you want to say is hurtful, mean, demeaning, or rude.
It is hard to confront your feelings, and thoughts, but I have found that most of the time, it is better to express them. Once you become more open in your communication with others, your relationships will improve.
I have made an effort in the last week to be more open in my communication. I can see a difference already. I let a friend know my feelings were hurt by something, and I think it made a big difference in how I felt. I value the friendship, and didn't want to feel resentful and let hurt feelings stew. I also have been more open in my communication with my husband, and have tried to take a step back where I would normally have been upset or gotten snippy and have made an effort to verbally express how I was feeling.
If you value a relationship, you owe it to the other party to be open and honest in your communication. Its hard, but its totally worth it!
When you communicate, you have two choices-either to be open or to be closed to what the other person is saying. We have many triggers that cause us to be closed, defensive, and sensitive to what others say. It could be the subject, body language, tone, or even our own emotional state at the time. Honestly, it is often easier to be closed to what others are saying. In order to be open, you need to be conscious of YOUR body language, tone, and emotional state, AS WELL AS that of the other person. It takes more effort for open communication to take place.
Another choice you have is to confront your feelings or to leave them inside, unsaid. Sometimes, it is just better to not say anything, especially when the effects on that relationship are going to be inconsequential. Or, if the relationship won't suffer from leaving things unsaid. Or if what you want to say is hurtful, mean, demeaning, or rude.
It is hard to confront your feelings, and thoughts, but I have found that most of the time, it is better to express them. Once you become more open in your communication with others, your relationships will improve.
I have made an effort in the last week to be more open in my communication. I can see a difference already. I let a friend know my feelings were hurt by something, and I think it made a big difference in how I felt. I value the friendship, and didn't want to feel resentful and let hurt feelings stew. I also have been more open in my communication with my husband, and have tried to take a step back where I would normally have been upset or gotten snippy and have made an effort to verbally express how I was feeling.
If you value a relationship, you owe it to the other party to be open and honest in your communication. Its hard, but its totally worth it!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
If Today Was Your Last Day
Okay, so I am going to indulge in some cheesiness right now. I have a confession-I like the band Nickelback. I really like their music. Last night on the way to Zumba, I drove Jack's truck (which is HOTTTT and makes me miss my little truck), and he had Nickelback's "Dark Horse" CD in. The song "If Today Was Your Last Day" came on, and I really listened to the lyrics and I wanted to share them, and my thoughts on them with you.
"My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride"
Yes, the first step is the hardest. You don't know what is going to come your way, especially when you take the path that is less traveled and start REALLY living your life. You never know when your maker is going to want to meet you, so don't live your life in fear of what could be.
"If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day"
Can you let the past go?
"Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life"
Life is not always easy, and sometimes you have to fight for what you need or want in life. You don't get to repeat a single moment, and you can apologize for actions and words, but you don't get a chance to relive those moments and take back hurtful things. You also don't get second chances to live, so soak in all the experiences you can.
"If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day"
Or would you sit on your butt on the computer, in front of the television? Sheltered in your own life, not making a difference in someone's life? How are you positively impacting your world?
"If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side"
Again, you can't go back, and time's fleeting, and it goes faster and faster as you get older. No matter what you have done with your life up till now, there's always time to make changes, and there's no better time than now.
"If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day"
Can you let things go, and really start living in the present? Or will you look back on your life and say "gee, I really wish I had done XYZ (called this friend, volunteered at a shelter, went on a cruise)" ?
You never know when your going to die. It could happen at any time for any of us. Life is unpredictable, and it is precious. My hopes are that when I am old (hopefully) I can look back on my life and hold my husband's hand and think about all the wonderful years we had together, and how we have made good use of our short time on this earth.
"My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride"
Yes, the first step is the hardest. You don't know what is going to come your way, especially when you take the path that is less traveled and start REALLY living your life. You never know when your maker is going to want to meet you, so don't live your life in fear of what could be.
"If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day"
Can you let the past go?
"Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life"
Life is not always easy, and sometimes you have to fight for what you need or want in life. You don't get to repeat a single moment, and you can apologize for actions and words, but you don't get a chance to relive those moments and take back hurtful things. You also don't get second chances to live, so soak in all the experiences you can.
"If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day"
Or would you sit on your butt on the computer, in front of the television? Sheltered in your own life, not making a difference in someone's life? How are you positively impacting your world?
"If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side"
Again, you can't go back, and time's fleeting, and it goes faster and faster as you get older. No matter what you have done with your life up till now, there's always time to make changes, and there's no better time than now.
"If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day"
Can you let things go, and really start living in the present? Or will you look back on your life and say "gee, I really wish I had done XYZ (called this friend, volunteered at a shelter, went on a cruise)" ?
You never know when your going to die. It could happen at any time for any of us. Life is unpredictable, and it is precious. My hopes are that when I am old (hopefully) I can look back on my life and hold my husband's hand and think about all the wonderful years we had together, and how we have made good use of our short time on this earth.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
What really matters in life?
I would like to say that money doesn't matter in life, but honestly it does. Its a means to an end-the type of life you want for yourself and your family. If you don't have enough money to pay for your home, car payment, insurance, food, etc, your life (and your family's life) is going to be very chaotic. Worrying about how to make these payments causes stress on the earners and providers in the family, and the children will pick up on that for sure.
We have set a goal to save money. I have made a conscious effort over the last two weeks not to spend money on any extra things. Its been great! I did purchase a new pair of sweatpants to wear to my Zumba class on Tuesdays, but beyond household stuff (groceries, etc) and a couple bottles of wine at the Stems and Steins event, we have been very diligent. Its fun to spend money, but sometimes its more fun not to.
Last night I told my husband that I wanted to go hit some golf balls after dinner. He rushed home, ate his dinner and we got ready to go. He had tokens for the range left over from earlier this summer. I bundled up the baby in a blanket at the range, and we got a couple buckets of balls. No one else was there, the moon was shining as it was dusk, and we had a great time as a family just hitting balls. On the way home we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts and got coffee using a gift card my husband got for his birthday. A successful night-family fun and no money spent!!
I guess what really matters in life is how you spend-your time, your money, and your love. If you spend all your time fretting and fussing and complaining and generally being negative, pretty soon you're gonna be a crotchety old man or woman who is lonely and simply bitches all the time to their bazillion cats. If you spend all your money, you may have fun doing so in the moment, but you're going to be stressed later on for sure! If you spend all your love, hopefully you'll get it in return, but even if you don't, you will have made someone else's day brighter. My challenge to any of you who read this is to think about how you spend, and see if there is something you can do to positively impact another person's life today. If you do this, post a comment on it, I would love to hear about it!
We have set a goal to save money. I have made a conscious effort over the last two weeks not to spend money on any extra things. Its been great! I did purchase a new pair of sweatpants to wear to my Zumba class on Tuesdays, but beyond household stuff (groceries, etc) and a couple bottles of wine at the Stems and Steins event, we have been very diligent. Its fun to spend money, but sometimes its more fun not to.
Last night I told my husband that I wanted to go hit some golf balls after dinner. He rushed home, ate his dinner and we got ready to go. He had tokens for the range left over from earlier this summer. I bundled up the baby in a blanket at the range, and we got a couple buckets of balls. No one else was there, the moon was shining as it was dusk, and we had a great time as a family just hitting balls. On the way home we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts and got coffee using a gift card my husband got for his birthday. A successful night-family fun and no money spent!!
I guess what really matters in life is how you spend-your time, your money, and your love. If you spend all your time fretting and fussing and complaining and generally being negative, pretty soon you're gonna be a crotchety old man or woman who is lonely and simply bitches all the time to their bazillion cats. If you spend all your money, you may have fun doing so in the moment, but you're going to be stressed later on for sure! If you spend all your love, hopefully you'll get it in return, but even if you don't, you will have made someone else's day brighter. My challenge to any of you who read this is to think about how you spend, and see if there is something you can do to positively impact another person's life today. If you do this, post a comment on it, I would love to hear about it!
Monday, September 20, 2010
What is love?
Love is...the dreamy look in your spouse's eyes when they dance with you to that special song
Love is...found in the wag of your dog's tail when he's happy to see you
Love is...looking into your child's eyes and knowing he or she thinks your the most beautiful gal on earth and loves you more than you know
Love is...seeing your mom smile because of a surprise visit from your older sister and her daughter
Love is...your dad fawning over your child, exclaiming "he's a genius!" simply because he smiled at Grandpa
Love is...all around us.
Love is...found in the wag of your dog's tail when he's happy to see you
Love is...looking into your child's eyes and knowing he or she thinks your the most beautiful gal on earth and loves you more than you know
Love is...seeing your mom smile because of a surprise visit from your older sister and her daughter
Love is...your dad fawning over your child, exclaiming "he's a genius!" simply because he smiled at Grandpa
Love is...all around us.
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