Saturday, September 25, 2010

How do you communicate?

I think that communication is the root of most stress in relationships, and not just relationships between parters, but also friends and colleagues.

When you communicate, you have two choices-either to be open or to be closed to what the other person is saying. We have many triggers that cause us to be closed, defensive, and sensitive to what others say. It could be the subject, body language, tone, or even our own emotional state at the time. Honestly, it is often easier to be closed to what others are saying. In order to be open, you need to be conscious of YOUR body language, tone, and emotional state, AS WELL AS that of the other person. It takes more effort for open communication to take place.

Another choice you have is to confront your feelings or to leave them inside, unsaid. Sometimes, it is just better to not say anything, especially when the effects on that relationship are going to be inconsequential. Or, if the relationship won't suffer from leaving things unsaid. Or if what you want to say is hurtful, mean, demeaning, or rude.

It is hard to confront your feelings, and thoughts, but I have found that most of the time, it is better to express them. Once you become more open in your communication with others, your relationships will improve.

I have made an effort in the last week to be more open in my communication. I can see a difference already. I let a friend know my feelings were hurt by something, and I think it made a big difference in how I felt. I value the friendship, and didn't want to feel resentful and let hurt feelings stew. I also have been more open in my communication with my husband, and have tried to take a step back where I would normally have been upset or gotten snippy and have made an effort to verbally express how I was feeling.

If you value a relationship, you owe it to the other party to be open and honest in your communication. Its hard, but its totally worth it!

1 comment:

  1. It's so true my dear! Sometimes it's tough, but communication is key! I find that being open about my feelings to people who will listen really helps me, and I know that I am there for others too.