STOP! Barrier(s) ahead!

Wouldn't it be nice if we all knew when there was a barrier ahead of us, so we could turn around?

The thing with life is, you can only rethink your approach to a barrier, you can't turn around.
There will be barriers in life, its a fact. Its just a matter of how you approach that barrier, both mentally and physically.


This was on a short photo taking hike I took with the baby yesterday near Old Forge. Down a trail called "Lock and Dam". I had wanted to make it the whole way, but my choice of footwear combined with the muddy condition of the trail, and the fact that I was carrying an infant on my back, precluded us from making it the whole way.

But that's okay, I got lots of neat pictures along the way.

Lists, lists, lists...

Ahh, many of you who know me will giggle about this, but I am a true Capricorn-I like being in control, and having lists. Yes, Lists. They keep me organized, and help me make sure that I don't forget anything, though I usually forget to put something on the list...

Anyhow, I have realized that in order to keep track of what I need to accomplish in a day, I really need to create a couple of lists. One is a recurring list-like a checklist of tasks that happen daily, or should happen daily. This list would include sweeping/vacuuming or using the swiffer on my floors, getting the kitchen and table and counters cleared off, picking up laundry, making the bed, etc.

On another list I would place tasks that aren't every day things, like calling whatever company has screwed up my auto drafting THIS time to get it fixed (shouldn't things like that really make life easier??), calling our insurance company to get something taken care of, picking up stuff from the cleaner, getting oil changes for our cars, etc.

However, as I make my lists, I realize that there are some things that we do automatically every day-for example, I call my parents (almost) daily. I also tell my husband that I love him at least once a day, and kiss my baby boy many many times a day. But there are also some things that I don't do every day, but perhaps should. Things like counting the many blessings in my life, taking the time to think about what's important in life, and thanking my husband for being such a good provider. Maybe I should put these things on my recurring daily list.

What isn't on your list that should be?

How do you communicate?

I think that communication is the root of most stress in relationships, and not just relationships between parters, but also friends and colleagues.

When you communicate, you have two choices-either to be open or to be closed to what the other person is saying. We have many triggers that cause us to be closed, defensive, and sensitive to what others say. It could be the subject, body language, tone, or even our own emotional state at the time. Honestly, it is often easier to be closed to what others are saying. In order to be open, you need to be conscious of YOUR body language, tone, and emotional state, AS WELL AS that of the other person. It takes more effort for open communication to take place.

Another choice you have is to confront your feelings or to leave them inside, unsaid. Sometimes, it is just better to not say anything, especially when the effects on that relationship are going to be inconsequential. Or, if the relationship won't suffer from leaving things unsaid. Or if what you want to say is hurtful, mean, demeaning, or rude.

It is hard to confront your feelings, and thoughts, but I have found that most of the time, it is better to express them. Once you become more open in your communication with others, your relationships will improve.

I have made an effort in the last week to be more open in my communication. I can see a difference already. I let a friend know my feelings were hurt by something, and I think it made a big difference in how I felt. I value the friendship, and didn't want to feel resentful and let hurt feelings stew. I also have been more open in my communication with my husband, and have tried to take a step back where I would normally have been upset or gotten snippy and have made an effort to verbally express how I was feeling.

If you value a relationship, you owe it to the other party to be open and honest in your communication. Its hard, but its totally worth it!

Healthy Dinners

I have always loved to cook, and since my husband developed a food allergy 6 years ago (or should I say, we discovered his food allergy then), we have had to stop bringing in alot of the pre-packaged and pre-processed foods into our home. Gone are the Hamburger Helper's and just add chicken Pasta Dinners. Frozen Lasagna? Nope. Can't have that either, unless I made it and froze it myself.

Here are a couple of the healthy dinners I have made the last couple nights:

Broiled Salmon with Herbs and Goat Cheese
-take some salmon filets, add a little bit of olive oil, and some garlic powder. Broil till done, then add some soft goat cheese, lemon juice and some parsley and basil (fresh of course) to the top. Serve with sauteed garden veggies (summer squash, peppers, herbs, and tomatoes).

That dinner was delish!

Here is a second one:
Weight Watchers Cheese Souffle-I'll post the recipe later, but I added some baby spinach and bacon crumbles and it was delicious as well. Baking time needs to be increased because of the spinach though.

If Today Was Your Last Day

Okay, so I am going to indulge in some cheesiness right now. I have a confession-I like the band Nickelback. I really like their music. Last night on the way to Zumba, I drove Jack's truck (which is HOTTTT and makes me miss my little truck), and he had Nickelback's "Dark Horse" CD in. The song "If Today Was Your Last Day" came on, and I really listened to the lyrics and I wanted to share them, and my thoughts on them with you.

"My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride"

Yes, the first step is the hardest. You don't know what is going to come your way, especially when you take the path that is less traveled and start REALLY living your life. You never know when your maker is going to want to meet you, so don't live your life in fear of what could be.

"If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day"

Can you let the past go?

"Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life"

Life is not always easy, and sometimes you have to fight for what you need or want in life. You don't get to repeat a single moment, and you can apologize for actions and words, but you don't get a chance to relive those moments and take back hurtful things. You also don't get second chances to live, so soak in all the experiences you can.

"If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day"

Or would you sit on your butt on the computer, in front of the television? Sheltered in your own life, not making a difference in someone's life? How are you positively impacting your world?

"If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side"

Again, you can't go back, and time's fleeting, and it goes faster and faster as you get older. No matter what you have done with your life up till now, there's always time to make changes, and there's no better time than now.

"If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day"

Can you let things go, and really start living in the present? Or will you look back on your life and say "gee, I really wish I had done XYZ (called this friend, volunteered at a shelter, went on a cruise)" ?

You never know when your going to die. It could happen at any time for any of us. Life is unpredictable, and it is precious. My hopes are that when I am old (hopefully) I can look back on my life and hold my husband's hand and think about all the wonderful years we had together, and how we have made good use of our short time on this earth.

Reinforcement and choices

I was thinking about what to write about today, and my thoughts went down the path of how I feel when I exercise and eat healthy. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but when you are on a roll, good or bad, whatever it is seems to reinforce itself. Think about it....if you make poor food choices for breakfast, many of us think "well, whatever, the day's shot anyhow" and what do we have for lunch-McDonald's! And dinner? Pizza! Then the next day we wake up and feel poorly because we put unhealthy stuff in our bodies to nourish it, and we often feel guilty because we made poor choices for the whole day. But when you make healthy choices, they often beget healthier choices later in the day, and the next day and so on. Same thing with exercise-it may take some momentum to get the ball rolling (heck, sometimes it feels like you're trying to push a boulder up a hill), but once you get over the crest, its hard to stop!

I have found that I need to focus on making healthy choices, and really make a conscious effort to exercise. My goal is approximately 40 minutes of exercise a day, PLUS at least two healthy meals, striving for three. And healthy snacks.

Hopefully I will continue to see and feel results from the effort that I am putting forth, and that will be reinforcement enough to keep me going!

What really matters in life?

I would like to say that money doesn't matter in life, but honestly it does. Its a means to an end-the type of life you want for yourself and your family. If you don't have enough money to pay for your home, car payment, insurance, food, etc, your life (and your family's life) is going to be very chaotic. Worrying about how to make these payments causes stress on the earners and providers in the family, and the children will pick up on that for sure.

We have set a goal to save money. I have made a conscious effort over the last two weeks not to spend money on any extra things. Its been great! I did purchase a new pair of sweatpants to wear to my Zumba class on Tuesdays, but beyond household stuff (groceries, etc) and a couple bottles of wine at the Stems and Steins event, we have been very diligent. Its fun to spend money, but sometimes its more fun not to.

Last night I told my husband that I wanted to go hit some golf balls after dinner. He rushed home, ate his dinner and we got ready to go. He had tokens for the range left over from earlier this summer. I bundled up the baby in a blanket at the range, and we got a couple buckets of balls. No one else was there, the moon was shining as it was dusk, and we had a great time as a family just hitting balls. On the way home we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts and got coffee using a gift card my husband got for his birthday. A successful night-family fun and no money spent!!

I guess what really matters in life is how you spend-your time, your money, and your love. If you spend all your time fretting and fussing and complaining and generally being negative, pretty soon you're gonna be a crotchety old man or woman who is lonely and simply bitches all the time to their bazillion cats. If you spend all your money, you may have fun doing so in the moment, but you're going to be stressed later on for sure! If you spend all your love, hopefully you'll get it in return, but even if you don't, you will have made someone else's day brighter. My challenge to any of you who read this is to think about how you spend, and see if there is something you can do to positively impact another person's life today. If you do this, post a comment on it, I would love to hear about it!

Plans...

I tend to do better with things when I plan them out. I have always been that way. I need to think things through, or at least come up with an idea of what to do and how to go about it. BUT...life with a baby has a way of making it hard to stick to the plans you have made!

Today I plan on the usual-straightening up the kitchen, going through paperwork and cleaning off the buffet, showering, playing with baby, doing some laundry, putting it away--normal stuff. I also am meeting two or three other moms out at an indoor playground so the kiddos can crawl around and play (the mosquitoes are too bad at the parks we normally go to). I am going to get another walk in, perhaps with the baby in the Ergo carrier and the dog on his leash, I need to deep clean our upstairs bathroom, and go to the bookstore. We'll see how those go!!! Oh, and of course, my Zumba class tonight!!!

Being a mom has taught me that flexibility is something that is required in my life. You can plan to get stuff done, but the needs of the adorable little person who depends on you take priority over your plans. Heck, its not necessarily even the needs...its the WANTS of that little person! Haha!

I will be happy if ultimately I can shower, get my walk in, clean the bathroom, get the kitchen to a point where its tolerable (meaning dishes done and counter cleaned, maybe floor mopped), go on the playdate, and fold the laundry. Everything else can wait!

What is love?

Love is...the dreamy look in your spouse's eyes when they dance with you to that special song

Love is...found in the wag of your dog's tail when he's happy to see you

Love is...looking into your child's eyes and knowing he or she thinks your the most beautiful gal on earth and loves you more than you know

Love is...seeing your mom smile because of a surprise visit from your older sister and her daughter

Love is...your dad fawning over your child, exclaiming "he's a genius!" simply because he smiled at Grandpa

Love is...all around us.

Finding the time...

Today is Monday. Normally the baby and I go to Sensory Swim at the therapy pool at a local nursing home. Usually after the hour long session, we are both tired and we come back home where we eat and the baby either then goes down for a nap or plays. I usually do some straightening up and play around on the internet after lunch.

Today is such a gorgeous fall day, I decided that I needed to find the time to take a walk at some point today...I planned out my morning so that I could take the baby for a walk after swimming. I even brought a banana and a bottle of water and my walking shoes.

Boy, I am so glad I spent the 45 minutes that I did going for the walk with the baby! We walked along the Canal, did a total of 1.88 miles. The sun was shining, a gentle breeze was blowing, and baby and I got to explore a local resource which I hadn't used before. It was a very nice walk-we saw three people on bikes, and that was it. We walked past Lock 20, and saw some boats. The only downside was getting bitten by mosquitoes. I probably would have walked a bit more if it weren't for those stinkers.

The title of this post is "finding the time". There are so many things that this can pertain to-finding the time to exercise, to prepare healthful meals, to do something special for a loved one, to clean the house, even to write an email or note to a good friend. Those things are all very important, yet how often do we say "oh, I just haven't had the time", yet, we're find the time for Facebook (which sucks hours out of the day), or we find the time to watch our favorite television shows (another time stealer), yet we don't think we can find the time to do something that would make ourselves or someone we care about happy.

I am going to make a conscious effort to find the time for what's really important in life, and I hope you do too.

Its in how you look at things...

A week ago, we spent an overnight in Lake Placid, NY for my husband's birthday. I made sure we got a lakeside room, one that overlooked beautiful Mirror Lake. I was a bit nervous because the baby had been giving me a rough time at night, and he had upped his game in the past few days, to the point where I was getting just a couple of hours of sleep at a time.

Saturday night was rough, I had expected that. Strange place, pack n play, etc. Add into the newly reached milestone of crawling and attempting to pull up and a really long nap on the drive up, AND being on a nebulizer filled with Albueterol (for bronchiolitis) I just knew it was going to be rough. Now normally, the little man will sleep till 7:30 no matter what. Or at least let me sleep till then.
Sunday morning, after being up two or three times with him, he decided that 5:45 a.m. was a GRAND time to wake up. I groaned, and tried to get him back to sleep. Nope. Nothing was getting this kid back to sleep. I sighed, made my coffee, made a bottle and watched as a purple tinge took over the sky. I was getting to watch the sunrise! I got my camera out, and went onto the balcony to take some pictures, and enjoyed the quiet time with my son. It was the best sunrise I had seen in a long time...heck, it was the ONLY sunrise I had seen in a LONG time.

I had planned to get up early to watch it, and take some pictures, but had set my alarm to 6:30. I thought that would have been good enough. As the brilliant reds and purples and oranges faded to that early morning blue, I noted the time-6:25. I would have missed the sunrise if the baby had let me sleep. I hugged him, and was grateful to have seen one of nature's most splendid shows, in a gorgeous area.




I could have grumbled and complained and been unhappy, but who could be unhappy with a snuggly baby boy, a view like that, and a good cup of coffee?

Why am I here? Why am I doing this?

I am doing this first and foremost because I want to be around a LONG time-till I am an old lady, specifically so I can annoy my son and spoil my grandkids. Now, yes, I know my son is only 8 months and 3 weeks old (when did that happen, btw???!) I know I need to make some positive changes in my life, and hopefully this blog will help me be more accountable to myself to make these changes.

My goals seem simple enough
* Eat more wholesome and healthy foods, prepare the same for my family.
* Provide myself with the chance for healthful activities, not simply exercise, but opportunities for relaxation, mindfulness, giving to others, and living in the moment.
* Inspire others, if anyone ever reads this. :)

Ultimately, I would like to live a more healthy, positive life, and perhaps lose some weight both physically and emotionally.